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How your star sign determines your swimming ability

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Training and natural physique are not the only factors that determine your speed in the pool. Here, we look at the unfashionable but compelling evidence that your zodiac sign is just as important

There's one inescapable fact in swimming, above and beyond all the training, the lessons, the hard work, the psychology. Your horoscope. This particular branch of science has had a bad rap in recent years, but the evidence is now pretty clear that what star sign you are directly affects your swimming abilities – as some of the stars of the swimming world, including Michael Phelps and Rebecca Adlington, clearly show. Here's a roundup of the latest thinking.

Aries: 21 March – 19 April

People born under aries are go-getters; they like to plunge right in. You'll be the one thrashing up the pool with great vigour, determined to reach the end, but with zero style or consideration for others. I hate to be the one to tell you, aries, but you are very annoying in a communal pool.

Taurus: 20 April – 20 May

Ever seen a bull swim? No of course not. They probably could swim, if caught in a flooded field, but it won't be graceful. They like things very ordered – pools with strict lane discipline are their preferred setting. But they're solid and a bit lazy. You won't find many taureans in a pool. Who wants to swim with a bull anyway?

Gemini: 21 May – 20 June

Geminis can talk the talk, but when it comes to actually doing it, it'll be a creative interpretation of what's required. Interesting stroke in the pool? That's a gemini. Also, they have no staying power. They might be into swimming one day, and zumba the next. Amazing excuses though.

Cancer: 21 June – 22 July

Michael Phelps is cancer (a water sign). Science tells us that water disperses in water, and yes, the cancerian problem is they can start to actually disperse or dissolve in water, so they have to go fast. Michael Phelps proves that. Also, they swim sideways so will crash into you if they're doing backstroke. Nightmare...

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